to shut down my page in style.
I am so bored with this…
Shutting down my page. I have no use for it. Now that school is done, I need to start doing new things making my life exactly how I want it. I am SO fucking SICK of selfish people who only think of themselves. These people have been given enough chances. I have zero respect for them any more any ways, and clearly they don’t need me in their life, which means I need them in my life even less.
I can’t stand how I have been treated, or how I have allowed myself to be treated. I’m better than that. I am a good person, and I try to go out of my way to make others feel good as much as I can. Now its time to do that for myself. I need to be around men who aren’t so god damn full of them selves. Men who are secure with themselves, ones who don’t have the need to be racist, homophobic or sexist just to fit in with the guys, that is not a real man. Someone who knows this isn’t the fucking boys club any more.
Considering I know that I am better at most things than 90% of the guys I know, I have no time for someone who can’t be happy for me because they’re too busy being insecure with themselves. I am insecure enough, but I still know when to draw the line when it comes to allowing my insecurities to interject on my relationships with the people I care about.
I have never been the type of person to jump from boyfriend to boyfriend just because I could. I’m picky and I have high standards, because I know my worth, I have self respect and I have certain ATTAINABLE expectations that a good man can easily exceed just by listening and putting in effort, while still being himself. I’ve changed a lot of things about myself so that I can start to like myself better and be a better person in my daily life. Its still a work in progress and probably always will be, but I can’t allow myself to be mistreated or disappointed any more.
I can never be with someone who is more concerned with what others think over their own happiness. The people who are that superficial and thrive off of the approval from others are usually the ones who have grown up with a silver spoon shoved up their ass and need a fucking reality check. Thats not me. Never has been. I say weird shit, have a different though process and thoroughly enjoy being different. I find that the more I am me and weird and different, the more people genuinely like me. I have learned to seek less approval from others and do what I feel is right for me. NO one else has lived my life or known what I’ve been through, so I need to live accordingly. I need to be with someone who regardless of how far away he was or what he was doing would make a great effort to have me in his life.
You’ve ruined it now. Just like you thought you would. You’ve finally convinced me that you are not the right guy for me. YOU did that to yourself, not me.
When I said I loved you, I meant it and still do. But do to your lack of respect for me, I may love you, but I don’t like you any more.
I gave you EVERY opportunity to turn things around MULTIPLE TIMES and you CHOSE and still continue to choose to do nothing.
You go right ahead, continue to spend all of your time doing these things that you claim to be so busy with. You’ll see soon enough, those things can’t give you what I could. Golf, hockey, lacrosse, theyre just games. You consume yourself with them because those are things that you are good at. You like being good at things. You’re afraid to step outside of your comfort zone soley based on the fact that learning how to do something new, ex. a relationship etc, is hard, especially if there are people out there that are better at it than you are. You can’t stand to not be the best at something, so you choose to not be involved at all. Its all about balance when it comes to the people and the things you love. Your self esteem seems to ride on how good you are at things, rather than how good of a person you are. You should really look at that. Youre too afraid of being embarrassed or not good enough at something. GET over yourself. Only YOU are in your own way. Its good to care to a certain degree what others think, but don’t let it run your life.
ALSO, you are actually THE WORST listener. Every single thing I have ever told you about myself, I have had to repeat at least once or twice. You know nothing about me because you don’t listen. I know way more about you than you do about me. Why would I tell someone everything about myself when they can’t even remember my fucking birthday after all this time when theyre suppose to care about me so much and want “to be there for me”? I wouldn’t care if you played sports 12 hours a day so long as you were making time for me, by all means do what you love as much as you can. Its when you make only time for that, and no time for me that pisses me off. It makes me angry because if I didn’t think you had potential to be great at all these things I wouldn’t have wasted a second on you. So when I see you act like a fucking asshole for no reason at all, it just enrages me. All you have to change are a few things, so fucking easy, but you aren’t willing to do that. Get over your fucking ego, get over your fucking pride, they mean shit if they’re getting in your way.
You think you’re so mature and such a man. You are terribly immature with the way you handle things. I’d love to tell you off to your face, but at this point, its not even worth it to me because you’re not willing to change, you want everything your way. YOUR WAY IS STUPID, you need to realize that, and instead of getting mad that someone is challenging you or calling you out on it, fucking change your shit up, then step your game up, thats how we all learn to be better people, by LISTENING and taking constructive criticism and making the necessary changes in order to better ourselves.
You have hurt me for the last time. You aren’t willing to fight for us or me, so why should I care any more?
I will NEVER be the first one to speak, text, call, tweet you EVER again. And if you choose to let that be, then thats your choice and we will never be in contact again. If this is how you choose to leave things, then youre definitely not the man I thought you were. Unresolved issues just fuck you over in the long run. I feel bad for the next chick you deal with, because things are only going to get worse from here. I have given you way more chances than you deserve and you STILL didn’t take them. You are going to have to live with the fact that you didn’t take a risk because you were too chicken shit to follow through. If these are the same reasons why you and your last girlfriend didn’t work out, I can understand why, and its only going to get worse with the next girl.
Either take my advice or don’t..
.you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink.
